**Before the Island Goes Away**
\\ //Written by Tor NaGoth//
\\ //Originally performed by Tor NaGoth, Lady Akitsu, and Count Sessine//
\\ //To the tune of 'One Tin Soldier'//

Listen Newbies, to a story that was started long ago,\\
Of some people on an Island, and the Drive, Horatio.\\
On the Island was a Watcher, floating on a Boat of Fail.\\
She gave instructions to the people, Told them all an awful Tale.

So go ahead and beat your neighbors, go ahead and Kill the Drive,\\
Do it in the name of Ra-a-tings and we can keep this show alive.\\
Dump your req into the Councils, quick, Before New Day\\
And don't forget to Dona-a-a-te, before this Island Goes away.

So the Watcher told the people, 'Don your panties! Grab your Sporks!'\\
Sent them off into the jungle slaying lobsters, whales, and orcs.\\
Kill the monsters in the jungle, it's the only way you see, we can ever hope to win against Improbability.

So go ahead and beat your neighbors, go ahead and Kill the Drive\\
Do it in the name of Ra-a-tings and we can keep this show alive.\\
Dump your req into the Councils, quick, Before New Day!\\
And don't forget to Dona-a-a-te, before this Island Goes away~!

So the people scoured the jungles, felling beasts for cigs and Coins,\\
Gaining better skills and weapons, better stuff to gird their loins.\\
When at last the people found him, Horatio Raged and threw bright Flame.\\
Knocked the people on their arses, when they woke - they weren't the same.

So go ahead and beat your neighbors, go ahead and Kill the Drive\\ Do it in the name of Ra-a-tings and we can keep this show alive!\\
Dump your req into the Councils, quick, Before New Day,\\
And don't forget to Dona-a-a-te, before this Island Goes away!\\

So go ahead and beat your neighbors, go ahead and Kill the Drive.\\ Do it in the name of Ra-a-tings and we can keep this show alive\\
Dump your req into the Councils, quick, Before New Day!\\
And don't forget to Dona-a-a-te, before this Island Goes away!

Don't forget to Dona-a-a-te, before this Island Goes away!