===== Alcohol ===== A magical, life-lengthening substance that'll put hair on your chest and increase your shoe size by at least 2 inches((If you know what I mean.)). Currently the// Third// most important invention know to man.((First is Alcohol Ice-cream. Second is Irish Coffee. Because two miracles>One miracle)) === Production === Alcohol is made by combining 2 parts Joy, 1 part Stress Relief, 3 parts Water, 1/2 parts Unicorn Blood((this is the evil part. all good drinks are a bit evil, and unicorns are the most evil creatures of all.)), and 1/2 parts Hobo Vomit((To give it that kick.)) in a pressure cooker for 3 days. === Alcohol Throughout History === *It is a little known fact that those who participated in dumping the tea into the harbor at the Boston Tea Party were completely smashed. *From the time he assumed control of France to his death, Napoleon was not sober for more that 2 hours. *A closely guarded secret of the Japanese, the first Emperor was chosen by a Sake-Bomb drinking contest. ((On a slightly related note, Japanese bomber pilots in WWII would drink sake before going on bombing runs or suicide missions, making them //sake-bombers//.)) === Forms of Alcohol === *Beer *Wine ((No man may drink wine unless in the presence of a woman **also drinking wine**. Any nearby men may revoke one of the wino's [[man-card|man-cards]] so long as a witness is present.)). *Spirits, such as Rum, Vodka, and Gin *Liqueurs, flavored or sugared alcohols